I Met a Real Life BBW Lover
In 2014, I started a blog called Sex After Marriage. I was going through the transformation one does after coming out of an 18-year marriage with a man that I met at 17 years old. I was finding out who I was. I started this blog to chronicle my journey. I figured that if I was inspiring myself, I would surely inspire others.
In 2024, it’s now been 10 years. I thought it might be time to republish the blog with my “10-Year Take”. I’m looking forward to seeing what’s changed and what has stayed the same. This is a gift to myself as I come into my 50th year on this planet, the same age my mom lost her 2-year battle with Inflammatory Breast Cancer. In some ways, it feels like I’m on borrowed time. In other ways, I feel like I’m completing her incomplete journey. Mom, you are missed and I’m not sure I would have gotten here if I hadn’t had to feel the loss of you. Thank you for reading.
Dated January 1, 2015
One day last week I was answering OK Cupid messages and came across a message from an attractive man, but sadly not local. But because we are a great match, like 97%, and he wrote in complete sentences, I engaged him in an interesting conversation for a chunk of my afternoon. When it came out that he prefers big, beautiful women (BBW), I had to ask why. His answer and this is a quote, so if it is a bit too adult for you, my apologies, “BBWs are softer, sexier, jigglier, squishier, and they have more to park on my face.”
I appreciated his words and got a little giggle out of the end. That was his answer. What can I say?!
There is something about knowing there are people out there who prefer me just the way I am. He probably wouldn’t even consider dating me if I was the “perfect” version of me. That had to sit with me for a bit. I will even admit that I got a little emotional thinking about the fact that a lot of my insecurities are the reason he is drawn to me. It leaves one with a lot to think about.
As I stood in the mirror the next day, I looked at myself differently. While I have a kind heart for myself, I saw myself through someone else’s eyes this time. I’m not sure, but I might have walked a little taller, too. I know my confidence got a little extra boost. Thank you, BBW lover. You gave this BBW an extra smile today.
**edited to add**
I have been questioned whether I am, in fact, a BBW and not just a BW (beautiful woman). I don’t know. I guess that definition depends on the person. I have never (other than above) labeled myself BBW. But I am certainly curvy and I definitely fit his description of ” softer, sexier, jigglier, squishier”. I also don’t know that BBW is a negative label. It was just something to be able to actually ask why BBW is his preference. I always assume people date me because I am cute, funny, kind, confident, warm, fun…not necessarily because I am “not close to thin”.
10-Year Take:
Sigh. I find myself, as I quickly read this, thinking about the waste of time. I wasn’t working back then. Engaging in online banter was much easier to say yes to. But let’s be honest, he should/could have been paying for my attention. (If we aren’t going to date - pay me.)
I fondly remember this man. I recall that his picture was so good that I did a reverse image search. I think I was talking to that actual man. I don’t think it was a catfish, but the show Catfish is exactly how I knew how to do a reverse image search. It was a striking headshot. He was a motivational speaker of sorts with a little YouTube channel. He was such a lovely man, like his heart was so beautiful.
He wanted me to humiliate him for having a small penis. I just couldn’t do it. I wonder how he is today….
Good news! I found him still producing content on YouTube. He looks good! I love that for him.
